i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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