508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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