do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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