Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
