i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
