im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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