He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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