Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
