Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
