someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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