i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
