Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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