Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
