So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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