woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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