They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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