got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
