I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
