i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
