i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can I color on your dick again?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
