we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
