My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
