so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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