why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
