yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
