i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
