First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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