I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
