At least make sure they are 18
Why
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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