Already got asked if we're dating
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
