Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
