Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
