I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
