dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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