I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
