my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
