Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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