Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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