Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
