yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
