Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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