eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
