I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
