So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
When are your genitals available?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
