Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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