I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
