I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
