sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
