she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
