dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
