I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
