I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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