Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
