thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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