Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
